My dearest darlings, it is with mixed feelings that I sit here and write these words that I hope will
open a new page in your marriage. I have received letters from both of you over the last few months
and though you might not have noticed them yourselves, so many changes have happened in your
lives. You have both evolved. And this is what troubles me.
Ese, you are the daughter I never had and oh what a daughter too! You have matured from the shy
little thing you were when you first started sneaking into my home to see Jason into a most lovely
woman. A pillar of virtue, nobody else could have been a better fit for my Jason than you. You are a
mother in whose hands I’m glad my grandbabies will be nurtured. But don’t let that be all you are; a
mother. Don’t get swallowed by the everyday struggles of being a mum that you forget to be a wife.
There will be days when it will feel like you are in a circus, trying to maintain balance while juggling
all the balls life throws at you. Don’t get overwhelmed. Remember you have a co-juggler; ask for help.
Jason, sweet Jason! I’m so proud of all the successes you have achieved. You have made me the envy
of all the women my age, paving a way for yourself even against impossible odds. You are strong and
smart and special. Your love for your kids is evident in everything that you do. You are a great dad.
But you too must remember that you are more than just daddy because before that you were first a
You both are exemplary parents but I fear that you have forgotten to be more than that to each
other. You have forgotten to be lovers, to smile solely for each other. You have forgotten the place
of playful praising and silly flirting. You have buried the romance. You have become distracted. You
have become just mum and dad.
Kids grow up. It doesn’t seem that way at first, but they do and when they do the things that have
died and been buried are the things you will need to fill the void. Laughter, romance, friendship,
understanding, love; the truest companionship.
There’s no family relationship as difficult to maintain as that of spouses as what binds them isn’t
blood but vows and promises. While brothers may fight and still remain family, spouses must agree
and strive to keep the promises that keep them family.
So my dears, I encourage and urge you to make your strive easier. Love each other, play, fight, find
laughter. Live your lives together being parents, lovers, friends, confidants as well as individuals; a
little space sometimes might be all that you need. I really hope that my words have been helpful,
and I hope to read a cheerful letter from you both soon.