They say you are gone,
That I can no longer approach you with my intentions.
They say it is done,
The question’s been asked and answered;
A proposal accepted.
They say he’s presented a ring, and you’ve accepted.
They say it has a ridiculously large sparkling stone.
I feel bile rising in my throat,
And my airways tighten; I’m gasping for air.
They say it is panic, this frantic stirring in my spirit.
They say I came late.
That your heart’s his.
They say you are his.
They say that you are gone,
But how am I to go on?
If only I had spoken, said something.
A word, a sentence; anything.
They say that you are gone,
That it is done.
I sold my soul! Too many cheap things around me, where did they come
from?? I sold my soul! I must have been asleep when the years few by
because I cannot take credit for the things done in the recent past, not
possible! I sold my soul! How dare anyone insinuate that my life has come
this far without my consent, most certainly outrageous! I sold my soul!
Where am I?
For all the pretty things that caught my eyes, for all the wealth within my
grasp, how have I amounted to this pitiful state? Was I robbed by chance
or by fate? I demand an answer as this situation confuses me beyond
reasoning. Surely there must be some sort of explanation to all of these,
but will I get it? From whom? Was this self induced or just misfortune?
Surely I will get answer…will I?
I did not hear the sirens therefore I cannot allow my thoughts to stray
into uncharted territories but what if? Is it plausible that it was an inside
job? Oh no…that will simply be horrible…but yet very possible!
Hmmm…at this rate I will never get to the root of this.
For every penny spent, there was a price tag, how then were the pennies
acquired? Even more questions to be answered. Pretty, shiny and in
pink…how glamorous! White wine, red wine it must have been to have
cleared the mind of guilt. Coming to term is far more difficult than it was
described to me. It must be that I have sold that which was priceless to
I sold my soul….
I don’t usually write about stuff going on in my life, but I’m having all these interesting things happening in and outside of my head that I thought I should share. I started a diet a few months ago and I was sooooooooooooo excited. I’d gained quite a bit of beautiful extra flesh over the years and I was finally going to start doing something about losing my extra KGs besides wishing them away. So I started with this diet. It was a fruits and vegetable type diet with some exercising; can someone help me say yuck three times!! The diet had me eating ridiculous things and drinking some downright awful smoothies. Needless to say that me and that diet didn’t develop a lasting relationship!
Two weeks into that awful diet, I met a lady who introduced me to a different diet. A much yummier one. One where I get to eat all kinds of meats, butter, veggies, and many other reaaaally yummy stuff. So naturally I dumped diet A and started diet B. Diet B was awesome, and it works! Two weeks into diet B and I could already see visible changes to my body. My round face started to become oval-ish, my upper arms wiggled less when I clapped in church. I introduced exercise into my daily routine and boy was I pleased with the results!! Then I realised that all my clothes were becoming too big. So I had moved from one problem to another.
Nobody really tells you what to expect when you go on a diet. There are a few things I’ve found out you must prepare for when you decide to start any weight loss program, or at least these are the ones that I would have liked to have prepared for:
DISTRACTIONS: there are haters everywhere, you don’t believe? Go on a diet. People will discourage you, they will tell you that dieting doesn’t work and that you can’t do it. Ignore all of them, and just go ahead!
EXPENSES: if you’re going on a diet you need to be ready to spend! You will need to stock up on food that nobody else in your house is eating (trust me diet mede-mede is expensive!). Next you will need to buy new clothes because your old ones will start to look like you borrowed it from someone LARGER than you. If you are a lady I would advise that you get free dresses, they will help you transition easily.
CRAVINGS: you will miss ALL the food you can’t have, even the ones you never used to like. You will be tempted to eat everything you should be avoiding; dieting is not for the weak willed!
OUTINGS: your social life will change! When you go out with friends, you might not be able to eat or drink anything. Or you will have to drink water! Water is nice but sometimes a person just wants to drink some soda or booze. Sometimes you will feel like going home straight from work and boycott the social outings all together!
MOOD CHANGE: you will feel sexy!! Let me say that again YOU WILL FEEL SEXY! When u start fitting into old clothes again, your mood will change. You will become more confident, people will compliment you and it will feel good. Enjoy it, because you worked for it.
Well that’s all I can remember for now. If you’re going on a diet, have fun and good luck!
It’s easier you know
In the movies you see
The picture is perfect
And the moments captivate
The wind blows at the right time
And the smiles are perfect
It’s hard you see
To live this moment
Despite the intent to please
The weather might fail
The rain it pours
Heavier and I’m cold
I’d take off my coat
Than plant a kiss on your cheeks
Rest assured, I’ll love to make those fantasies
Into your realities
Those smiles I hope to capture
And keep those dimples forever deep
I’ve got this picture in my pocket
with the brightest smile I’ve seen
and I get jealous you see
Of who captured this first hand
A lucky soul I can tell
To have seen those set of perfect white
I hope and pray
When I lock you in an embrace
That within my grip
You’ll forever stay
And in my arms you’ll see within my heart
the world I see with you by my side
Ours is a story older than my time.
A love from the holiest vine.
You knew me long before my life was mine.
You loved me and you kept me thine.
Ours is a story of time.
The time of my creation.
The time of your sacrifice.
The time of my salvation.
Ours is a story of love.
Your love so divine,
While I was still defiant,
You loved me all the time.
Ours is a story of awe.
From the day I realised
Just who you truly are
I’ve been completely mesmerised.
Ours is a lesson in generosity.
You give and you give
Even before I have felt need
Truly there’s none like thee.
Ours is a story older than time.
Of my creator,
Of His creation,
You’re such a beautiful person,
Or at least this is what I see from all the way out here.
Your mind is a labyrinth of goodness,
Or so it seems from where I sit and stare.
You exude a calm that’s peerless,
A charm that’s priceless.
Or at least as far as I can tell!
If only you would drop the act,
Let down your guard.
If only you would actually let me in,
Let me see what’s within!
We’re an item, a couple.
Or at least this is what we tell people.
We are the perfect one too,
A love for the story books.
We are everywhere making lovey-dovey eyes,
Then we go home and our conversations end before they start.
We don’t know each other, you won’t allow it.
When we aren’t out with your friends,
Then we’re home with them
Or alone in our different homes.
And then I miss you, until I don’t.
And I haven’t in a while.
I was so into you,
But I guess you were more so than me.
Completely in your shell, into yourself.
Today my heart soars,
As I hear you cry,
Hear your heart roar.
As I watch you fall broken to the floor.
Today my heart jubilates
As the tears come running down your face
As your heart tears in a million ways
And you feel pain.
Today my heart rejoices
As you start to hear the whispering inner voices
As you question your sanity
And question all your choices.
Today my heart revels
In the steady force that is karma.
In the way that I didn’t have to lift a finger in this drama.
In the way that you got hit back; sledgehammer!
Today my heart glories
Because I know that finally you know how I felt,
As you watch her leave you for him
The same way you left me for her.
Today my heart is sated.
I didn’t know my pain had turned you into someone I hated.
But watching you hurt,
I feel totally compensated.